How Can I?
by Snowparrot
Summary: The courtship of Dahlia Black and Romina Lupin in six short scenes. Fem!Sirius/fem!Remus. Contains slash. One-shot. Complete.


The courtship of Dahlia Black and Romina Lupin in six short scenes. Fem!Sirius/fem!Remus. Contains slash. This story has got nothing to do with my other story 'The Last Bloom of Summer'. This is a one-shot.

 **How Can I?**

"How can I help but love you?

Help but want you?

Help but need you?

How can I hide this feeling?

Feeling as I do!" Nina Simone

 **Dahlia Black - 1976**

With furrowed brows, Dahlia scowled at her reflection in the still waters of the lake of Hogwarts. Romina was lying in the grass next to her, fast asleep and escaped to some happy dream world. Lily was leaning against a tree and reading a book.

On rare occasions such as these, Dahlia Black wished she had been born a man. Of course, she was aware that being male would have made her loose her gorgeous looks; - for: what man could possibly compete with the charms of the Black heiress? And she would probably lack a lot of common sense if she ever chanced to belong to the male gender. However, if she had been a man, she could have called that Jasper bloke out for a duel. Yes, then she could have been what she had always wanted to be: chivalrous.

Sadly though, she was a girl. Well, not sadly, most of the time she was quite content with her womanly condition. At this point in time, however, she wished to be the chivalrous knight rescuing her friend Romina Lupin from the clutches of that Jasper bloke. The thing was that Romina was hopelessly falling for her boyfriend, that Jasper bloke, but Jasper was never quite sure if he liked Romina, if she even was his girlfriend etc. etc.

Now, if Dahlia had been a handsome Prince Charming hopelessly in love with Romina and killing Jasper in a passion, that would have been quite the feat. But Romina's slightly crazy female friend Dahlia destroying all her hopes for happiness by murdering her boyfriend sounded rather less romantic.

Dahlia picked up a stone and skipped it on the even water. 'One day,' she thought, 'one day,' and stole a sideway glance at her sleeping friend. But what would be one day? She shook her head. It all seemed so impossible, so queer, so odd.

"Is something the matter, Dally?" Lily asked, looking up from her book.

"I was just wondering about Romina. Why does she put up with him? She's worth so much more," Dahlia said, frowning thoughtfully.

"It's love, darling. It makes you do stupid things," Lily answered, shrugging.

"They're constantly fighting. How can that be love?" Dahlia said.

"One day you will be in love and then you'll understand everything," Lily said enigmatically.

Dahlia turned away without answering.

 **Dahlia Black - 1978**

"They are finally getting married, isn't that delightful?" Romina said and took Dahlia's hand as they walked along the forest path. The sunlight was slanting through the yellow and red trees and illuminating the long hair of the two witches passing through the woods like two fairy tale characters.

It was the soft touch of Romina's Hand against hers that made Dahlia shiver and want more. Goosebumps went up her arm from where they were touching. With a sideway glance through thick eyelashes, Dahlia scrutinized her companion who was holding her hand with the innocence of a little child. Long thick brown hair cascaded onto Romina's thin shoulders, the eyes were big and blue in a very pale, drawn face. Now, for once those eyes were shining from the joy of a beautiful autumn day. Now, they were illuminated by the notion that a perfect girl like Lily might meet her Prince Charming, Potter, and end up married to him.

"Well, they are a bit young. But I guess it's the war…" Dahlia answered. Nevertheless, she was sharing Romina's joy. In such times news of blossoming love were always well received.

"Yes, I guess now people want to live to the fullest. No one knows how much they've got left …" Romina answered, glancing up into the clouds with a thoughtful expression.

Dahlia stopped dead in her tracks, still holding on to Romina's hand and thus bringing her friend to a stop as well. "What is it?" Romina said, turning to look into Dahlia's eyes.

Dahlia was silent, drowning. Finally, she could breath again: "It's just … something you said … we all don't know how much we've got left." Dahlia was thinking: 'What is this? Why should I feel this way about Romina holding my hand? Why are her eyes as beautiful as that, why is her face illuminated in such a light? Why do I want her to stay so close to me, nay, even to come closer?' Dahlia knew that she had never felt this way with any boy or man she had gone out with. In this instant, Dahlia felt incredibly vulnerable, but still invincible at the same time as long as Romina would keep holding her hand.

In this moment in time, Romina let go and took a step backwards.

"Oh don't you fret, good Dahlia," the young werewolf girl said, shaking her head violently. "Nothing is going to happen to Lily and James! We won't let anything happen to them."

 **Dahlia Black - 1979**

Slowly, Dahlia and Romina walked away from the house of light, the house of joy, the house of hope and love. It was the house of their friends Lily and James Potter who had been married for a year now. As they walked, Dahlia was stealing sideway glances at her friend. Dahlia always enjoyed Romina's charm, but in this night of revelling her friend really took her breath away: Romina had transformed into a muggle lady from the twenties. Romina's hair was carefully arranged into a headband and her deep blue dress looked absolutely gorgeous on her.

Never had Dahlia been more sure of her ardent love for this woman. It had taken the young Black a long time to figure out her heart's desire. Women and women, men and men, that kind of thing had never been something she expected to appear in her own life. That was not something growing up in the Most Noble House of Black prepared a young girl for. Thus, she had passed her own feelings by for a long time; thus, she had felt empty and confused. Now, however, she knew what she wanted.

But what did Romina want? What did she think as she gazed up at the starlit sky? What did she make of the companionable silence? Was she thinking of some man?

Suddenly, Dahlia realised she could not go on yearning and dreaming as she did. She needed to make this real – or to give this woman a special place in her heart, but go on to get to know other women that felt more like Dahlia. Other women, who liked the soft, caressing touches of women, who would turn their heads after a beautiful dress combined with some nice legs and a crown of full hair.

And with a trembling hand Dahlia stopped her friend, and as Romina turned towards her with a questioning look in her wide eyes, Dahlia kissed her. It was not one of those charming kisses on the cheek. It was a proper kiss on the mouth. It felt wonderful, but in the next instant Romina had disengaged herself from Dahlia and had taken a step back.

 **Romina Lupin - 1979**

Romina was trembling, just as she had felt her friend's Dahlia's hand tremble a few moments earlier. What was happening?, Romina wondered. What had gotten into Dahlia, beautiful, cold-hearted Dahlia with half of the wizards ready to marry her, but her breaking one heart after the other, what had gotten into Dahlia to make a pass at her best friend like that on this peaceful starlit night? Why on earth would Dahlia Black, the most beautiful witch of her generation, be caught up kissing a simple werewolf girl? Emphasis on girl and on werewolf here, Romina thought.

"What was that?" Romina asked, her voice far more steady than she felt.

Dahlia was gaping, opening and closing her mouth and did not seem to know what to reply.

"Are you alright?" Romina said, laying a hand onto Dahlia's shoulder. Dahlia shook it off.

"I'm fine. I'm sorry. I should not have done that. It was foolish of me to presume…" Dahlia said at last. Romina had never seen her friend seem so flustered.

"Presumed what? That I feel like checking out how hooking up with my best friend feels?" Romina said. "'Cause you're bored, or something? Dahlia! Merlin! You can't just expect everyone to be your fool."

Dahlia closed her eyes and sighed. Shaking her head, opening her eyes again and directing her level stare at Romina she answered at last: "Romina. Don't you see? I don't want everyone to be my fool. I just want to be your fool. Or maybe I should say: I am your fool, if you want or not."

"What do you mean?" Romina thought she had misunderstood Dahlia. This must be the oddest conversation we two have ever had, she thought. What on earth did Lily and James put into that dinner they served us?

"I love you, you fool," Dahlia answered, throwing up her arms in frustration. "I have loved you for a long time, most ardently."

Now, Romina was flustered. What does one say if suddenly one's best friend confesses her undying love? Romina decided quite quickly: flee she would and leave the end of this conversation to a more sober hour.

"I feel honoured, Dahlia," Romina said. "I really do. But … but, well. I think it's time to go home for both of us now."

Dahlia stood quite stiffly and proudly in front of her and jerked her head to a silent nod. In this instant, Romina's heart went out to her. So beautiful! So vulnerable! So daring! So brave! And in love with her, in love with Romina Lupin!

"Goodnight, Dahlia," Romina said, took out her wand and apparated away.

A few hours later, Romina was still wide-awake in her little cottage. She had made herself some herbal tea and was sitting on the couch reading Virginia Woolf. Or let's say, she was trying to read Virginia Woolf. Everytime the beauty of Mrs. Ramsay was praised, Romina thought of Dahlia. Actually, every other word made her think of Dahlia as well. That kiss, as short as it had been, kept coming back to her mind. Dahlia certainly could kiss.

Romina closed her eyes and leant back against her couch. It had been a while since she had kissed anyone. Was that the reason she was longing for Dahlia to be here, right beside her and for her to continue what she had started? Or was this more than the longing of a lone werewolf?

 **Romina Lupin - 1980**

A baby had been born! Harry Potter, his parents had called him. Romina felt elated. However, this meant that she and Dahlia had to remain in the same room, just the two of them, as they had not done in more than half a year since their fateful kiss on that moonlit night. Things had gotten quite awkward between them. One might think as two women of twenty they should know how to deal with a little kiss … but they did not know anything. Now, they were at the hospital, James was with Lily and the two best friends of the Potters were waiting together. All alone.

Of course, there had been Order meetings. Of course, they had gone to see their friends together. But just the two of them, in such a setting (a baby had just been born)?

Romina did not know where to put her hands, where to put her mind, where to look. Dahlia seemed to be completely cool. She was scanning some woman's magazine with raised eyebrows and did not even seem to notice that Romina was there.

Romina finally dared to properly look at her old friend. Memories, memories of their childhood escapades cropped up. If one could say anything about Dahlia then it was that she was a loyal friend. Quite a dog, actually, Romina thought, smiling at the inside joke. Then Dahlia looked up and started to smile as well. What a relief! To share a smile – never had anything seemed to take such a burden off Romina's mind.

 **Romina Lupin – 1981**

Death. Dead. Dead. Dead! Dahlia was lying motionless on the ground. The Death Eaters had gone and the Order members were slowly congregating around the motionless body. Lily was sobbing quietly. James was not here, he was with Harry. Romina could not hear what they all were saying. All she could was to think of the years she had let go to waste when there had been a beautiful and brave and daring and good woman who had loved her and, now Romina knew: she loved her back. Romina had been waiting for something. She did not know anymore what she had been waiting for. Had it been a certainty that no one would get hurt? Or something else that was just as foolish as that?

Romina was sitting on the floor, Dahlia's hand in her hand. The hand was still warm. Romina remembered how the hand had trembled when it had pulled her close for the one kiss they had shared.

That was the moment when Dahlia opened her eyes. She was alive! She was well!

"Dally, oh Dally!" Lily cried out, hugging her friend close.

"Romina, where's Romina?" Dahlia asked. "Is she well?"

"I'm here, you fool," Romina said, realising that she had tears in her eyes.

Lily finally let go of Dahlia and then they were right in front of each other: Romina and Dahlia.

With one swift motion Romina had pulled Dahlia close and kissed her sweet lips.

"I'll be your fool if you'll be mine," Romina whispered.


End file.
